IDUTE (NDUTE) ADA CUSTOM IN NENWE
The word idute in Igbo language simply means bringing somebody to oneself or to someone else. It is a verb, the doing of which applies to only human beings; not just human beings but mostly living human beings.
We do not therefore say duteru m ewu, duteru m oshishi, duteru m miri etc. The only exceptional case where idute or ndute applies to a non living being is that of idute or ndute Ada. It might interest one to note however that it is only a dead Ada that idute most often applies to. One can as well dute a living Ada. But in the psyche of every Nenwe person, the phrase 'idje dute ada' simply means to bring back, the spirit of a dead female relation back to her ancestral home.
By the way, who or what then is an Ada? Ada is an Igbo word ambiguously used by the Igbos. To some Igbo societies, it means the eldest daughter or chief woman of the family. To some other Igbo societies including Nenwe, it is loosely used for all daughters. It is not out of context to say that Ada simply means a woman. The noun or adjective preceding or coming after the name Ada explains the relationship between her and the caller or to the person/people being refered to, eg: Ada m - my sister or my daughter, Ada ayị - our sister or our daughter, Ada ha - their sister or their daughter, Ada mma - beautiful sister or daughter, ishi Ada - first daughter or head of the daughters, Ada iberibe - foolish sister or daughter; Ada Nenwe - Nenwe daughter, Ada Igbo - Igbo daughter etc.
In Nenwe, every Ada born to a family is expected to be married out of the family. No circumstance in Nenwe permits the retaining of any Ada in the family of her birth except that of lack of marriage. In that ugly situation, the Ada that remains unmarried has no share in the family's inheritance except a grave. This gives rise to the Nenwe saying: 'amụrụ nwayị tche ye ihu l'ọlụ mkpu' (at the birth of a woman she is made to face the exit gate of the compound).
Even in the situation of not getting married out of the family; if such a woman gives birth to any child more especially, a male child her child does not also have a share in the inheritance of the family. He stands to be adopted out of the mother's family at any given age. Any female born under the same circumstance does not feel so much dismayed as her male counterpart because she will (can) be married out and the mother's family takes all that comes out of such marriage.
Nenwe daughters having no share in their families' inheritance is as effective as long as they are alive. Any moment they die in their husbands' home, they have to be brought back to their parents' homestead to join their ancestors in a ceremony known as idute or ndute Ada.
How this is done and the consequences of their not being done form the subject matter of this week's Nkoro discussion.
No matter how long a married Nenwe daughter lives on earth, and no matter the amount spent on her during her marriage, the marriage is seen not to have been completed until her death. Even at her death, she is not yet fully married until her idute Ada ceremony or ritual is performed, hence the Nenwe saying: 'ala-alụgbụhụ nwayị alụgbụ' (a woman is never fully married).
Whenever any Nenwe daughter breathes her last at her husband's place; the children in conjunction with the members of the family send some people from the family to that of their wife/mother to inform them in any of these words: 'your daughter is deeply asleep' or 'your daughter is seriously sick' or outrightly 'your daughter is dead depending on the wisdom of the informants. Some people from the woman's family will then go to her marital home to see how well or unwell their sister is dressed. At the same time, they have to agree on the particular (befitting) spot their sister will be laid to rest. They …They will also be informed, if their sister would just be buried or if at the same time her full funeral ceremony will be performed along with her burial.
It is the duty of the late woman's husband family to dig the grave while her ancestral family has the exclusive duty of lowering her remains into the grave and covering the grave.If both the interment and other funerals are taking place at the same time, then, the ndute Ada rituals and ceremonies will be completed the same day. But if she is just to be buried, her family will simply inter her remains with some minor entertainments of wine and unspecified quantity of food for the covering of the grave and then go...
IDUTE ADA PROPER
When the late Ada's family is informed of the full funerals of their daughter, then they go into the archive to enquire if there is any outstanding debt being owed in respect of their daughter's marriage. If their is, then their inlaws will be made to clear such debts before they would go for the ndute Ada. But if there is none, they will be reminded of the general Nenwe adage which says: 'ala-alụgbụhụ nwayị alụgbụ.' That is to say that what is to be done now was purposely left undone initially not because of the inability to do them at the time of her marriage but they were left until the ndute Ada ceremony. Before now, what were required for the ndute Ada comprised of: one big pot of wine (orure or ụkpụ méé,) some specified quantity of foods such as tapioca, rice, etc. (In modern times they include life goat, yam and beer as well as soft drinks).
When the above items are provided, the woman's family members will dance with their ụbọ music into the compound, go straight to the grave side of their sister, dance round it and cry over it, eat the above foods; and then leave with their music.
As they go, their sister's children will do some demonstrative kind of trying to barricade them with a kind of mimick crying, asking their mother not to leave them. This simple ceremony then completes the marriage of a Nenwe daughter; as the daughter is believed to have gone back to her homestead to join her ancestors. But when not done, it is assumed that the woman keeps weeping in her grave causing some mayhems in both or either of her marital or ancestral home depending on the side that is causing the hindrance to her ndute Ada. Such mayhem is called in Nenwe dialect 'iwa évọ.'
Note: if the woman is married in far away land, where the family cannot easily go at her death, the ndute Ada ceremony is done at the time of her marriage. That is simply done by playing the ụbọ music along with her and her husband's people as they leave her parent's compound after her marriage. The music will keep playing behind them until they are out of sight. In some situations, this particular ceremony is tear inducing!
DISCUSS
-Sai Nwénya-
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